Vaginas, Blue Balls, and Boobies: Oh My!! (Original 03/11/15)

The Self-Actualized Life

So I got a reply back from a self-publishing assistant/agent. This was his reply, more or less……

Mrs. B, Perhaps you would be better off with a youngish female agent. Maybe one who is comfortable talking about vaginas and blue balls.

Sincerely,
Mr. Blah

After my laughter subsided, I realized this reply just making me MORE determined to make a success out of this endeavor. Blog, book, or nothing may come from it, but in the year 2015 I am being told that I need a young and female agent to even consider getting this subject matter off the ground. The Kama Sutra was written somewhere between 200 and 400 BCE. The Joy of Sex was written in 1972 (two years before I was even born!). Yet in this century, we still cannot talk freely about sex. I have spoken at times about slut-shaming. A horrible practice to be sure…

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Will you stand above me? Look my way, never love me?

The Self-Actualized Life

Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling down, down down…~ Simple Minds

I had this great post written and, with a flick of my wrist and a wave of my (non-existent) wand, it disappeared. So, I shall try to replicate it. Take two…

I got up this morning and had a pretty decent night sleep, which can be a minor miracle for me at times. It wasn’t raining (a rarity here lately) and the Lil Bit’s migraine was gone to the point that he could go back to karate class. When we got there, the kickpad (to practice kicks and punches at home) had arrived. This was pretty exciting as he’d been waiting quite a few weeks for it to arrive. Since they had opened the pool at our property, we went and got swimming suits so we could go swimming later. We stopped in to visit a friend at work…

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Upon Awakening

Everything I Never Told You

image

When I finally emerged
from my hibernation,
the light had long
since moved on.
My image transcending the sidewalk
as I shed my winter coat.
I looked down through the stars,
the earth no longer beckoning me.
The voices of a thousand
nightingales singing hopefully,
stirring the air like cream.
I sit nestled in the arms of the trees,
tipping my hat to the wrens and willows.
All life’s little delicacies are stored away
in my knapsack for later. As I descend
into the night the moon begins to glow,
alighting the darkness like a thousand
movie screens. In the distance a
church bell rings, and for a moment
I don’t feel so alone.

-Tosha Michelle

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Spam Sarnie #1

That reminds me, I need to clean out the spam filter. 🙂

unbolt me

At Unbolt we occasionally receive comments that are beyond our comprehension. Sure, the individual components look like words but taken as a whole those words tend to leave us feeling hoplessly dylsexic. It’s for this reason that we forward such comments to the relevant competent authorities to be deciphered and answered on our behalf. So, without further ado, we present the first batch of spam comments and responses for your perusal. Please enjoy! *

It can be applied in a much finer mist, thereby reaching between and around louvers and into seams, joints and corners.
– Piusygi

Ain’t it amazeballs? We’ve found it steams even the stubbornest wrinkles from the trunks of elephants that’ve naughtily stayed in the pool too long. That’s the power of Industrial Grade Unbolt™. Buy it today! (Squeegee sold separately.)
– The Grey Leg-Nose Carers League

I was one of those people passing around whiskey in the pit. My bag…

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The Tale of Melusina

MagickMermaid

Melusina, Water Goddess with a Secret

mermaid in a bathtub art print

Melusina was a Water Goddess with hair black as night and pale luminous skin. One day while bathing in a forest pool, she was observed by a handsome knight who had lost his way. It was love at first sight for both of them and they returned to his castle to marry. After exchanging vows, she asked only that he leave her alone to bathe.

They lived happily for years and had many children together. Melusina remained as young and beautiful as when they first met. Of course as time went on, her husband’s curiosity got the better of him and he spied upon her in the bath. Her mysterious secret was revealed as he saw that she was a mermaid! He could not bear the thought of her as a strange creature and she could not forgive him for spying. She left, taking…

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Happiness – 101 Simple Things Challenge

WU64LJ95F4.jpgA while ago I wrote a post called Happiness – 101 Simple Things, sharing with the world some simple things that create happiness in my life. Today I  felt compelled to once again give myself another reminder of some of those happy things in my life. Why? Well because… why not?

I wish to extend an invite out to all of you beautiful bloggers out there. Share what brings you happiness. Sit down and write as many things as you can, and you may be surprised how quickly the thoughts flow. Refer back to your list in times of sadness or doubt. Refer to it when you have some time to yourself.

I guarantee the simple act of writing this list will bring you some happiness and reaffirm happy feelings within.


Happiness 101 Simple Things Challenge rules…

  • Write 101 Simple things that make you happy

  • Tag 5 bloggers who you…

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